So, now we are already past the midpoint with Part 5. Did I promise you more silly cameos earlier? No? Well, you're getting them anyway! Don't complain, it could be MUCH worse. And you'll realize I made another mistake, which I'm leaving uncorrected as well...
- Act XIII -
[Last time, on STAR TREK 8: The Rescue of Kirk... refer to Act XII...]
[And now, the conclusion...]
Dax : Benjamin, the ship is repeatedly transmitting a series of pulses at
audio frequencies... 440 Hz... 495... 396... 198... 297... and then
again...
Sisko : Hmmm... a, b, g, G, d? Play it through the loudspeakers...
[As Dax connects the audio to the loudspeaker system, the first five notes of
the "CE3K" theme are heard...]
Sisko : Maybe that's the way they're hailing us... Let's see... Computer,
mimic the signals coming from that ship!
[As the station's computer mimics the Mother Ship's tune, the whole theme from
"Close Encounters of the Third Kind" is played, and then the Mother Ship nears
the DS9 and docks with it. The whole crew has been watching in astonishment]
Sisko : Major, come with me. Dax, call Odo and Dr. Bashir and tell them to
meet me at the docking area. And send a message to Starfleet
Command telling them we have a case of first contact.
[Inside the detention cell, Riker is playing chess with Quark. An aged Colonist
watches the game from beyond]
Riker : [moving his queen] Checkmate!
Quark : That's not fair! I cannot concentrate with this man looking over my
shoulder! He makes me nervous!
Colonist : You don't want me looking over your shoulder, eh? Well, then how
about a nice little friendly poker game among the three? [He takes
a deck of cards out from his pocket, while Riker clears the chess-
board from the table. He shuffles the deck and gives it to Riker]
Here, cut.
[Riker cuts the deck and gives it back to the Colonist, who starts to deal]
Colonist : So, we'll play seven cards stud, one-eyed wild...
Quark : And... what are we going to bet?
Colonist : Oh, this is just a friendly game. Do you have a starship?
[At this point, Odo enters followed by another Colonist about the same age as
the first one]
Odo : Well, you can take your friend if you can assure me you'll prevent
him from keeping on cheating on poker.
Colonist2 : You can take it for grant- Starbuck! When are you going to learn?
You have to stop robbing the beginners!
Starbuck : Oh, come on, Apollo, I was only having some fun... I was planning
to return everything I won...
Apollo : At your age, you should be ashamed! This is the last time I help
you get out of troubles.
[Riker and Quark look at each other, then at Starbuck, who has just collected
the deck and is staying up]
Starbuck : Sorry, gentlemen, it's time to leave! Maybe another time we can
resume the game...
[Odo disconnects the forcefield to let him out, then reconnects it. Apollo and
Starbuck leave the cell block]
Quark : Hey, what about me? When are you letting me out?
Odo : Well, although personally I'd keep you in there for an undefined
period of time, I'm forced to...
[Dax calls Odo]
Dax : Dax to Constable Odo. Captain Sisko wants you to meet him on the
docking area at once.
Odo : Understood. I'm on my way. [To Quark] Sorry, but duty is calling.
Don't go anywhere while I'm absent! [He leaves]
Riker : Wait! I've told you there is a mistake! I'm Commander Riker! I must
return to the Enterprise!
Quark : And now once again we only have the chessboard...
- Act XIV -
[Odo arrives at the docking area. Sisko, Kira and Bashir are already there]
Sisko : I want some security officers around the perimeter. Remember, we
want to look friendly. Nobody knows what could develop from this
First Contact... Doctor, have your tricorder handy...
Kira : Captain, look!
[The door begins to open. Light floods the area. A silhouette is seen coming
from the light source. Smaller silhouettes, in number of seven, approach from
behind. As the taller silhouette comes closer, it becomes clear that it is a
woman...]
Bashir : That can't be Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs!
[The woman comes nearer. She is a black woman wearing an old Starfleet uniform,
from the type used some 70 years ago]
Uhuru : Commander Nyota Uhuru, retired from Starfleet, reporting back to
duty.
Bashir : [Examining her with the tricorder] This is incredible! You're the
healthiest person I've ever seen!
Sisko : I'm Captain Benjamin Sisko, in charge of this Station. Tell me,
Commander, when did you retire?
Uhuru : Just two months ago, on Stardate 9546.8.
[The tiny aliens approach. Dr. Bashir tries to examine them with the tricorder]
Bashir : Most incredible! My tricorder doesn't register any kind of life
signals on them!
Sisko : [To Uhuru] And you've been with those aliens ever since that date?
Uhuru : Yes, it seems they were bored and wanted someone who would dance
for them.
Sisko : Sisko to Dax. Please come here and bring the Admiral and his
companions with you. [To Uhura] Well, Commander, there have been
some changes in the time you haven't been. But I think I'm not the
adequate person to tell you...
[Dax arrivcs, followed by Bones, Spock and Scotty. As they see Uhura, they stop
in astonishment]
Scotty : Uhura!
Uhura : Scotty, darling! Doctor! Mr. Spock!
Scotty : Where did you go 78 years ago? I was waiting the whole day for you
and finally had to board the Jenolen alone!
Uhura : What are you talking about? The Jenolen was supposed to depart no
sooner than tomorrow!
Spock : Commander, let me explain you. The current Stardate is 49016.3, or
in Terran dates, January 6, 2372.
Uhura : Are you telling me that I've spent nearly 80 years aboard that ship
dancing for those LGM's? 80 years of my life?
Spock : Actually, it has been only two months of _your_ life but some 78
years for the rest of us. That ship should have been using some
kind of Einsteinian, relativistic, non-warp drive.
Uhura : But... all of you... you don't look as if you were so much older...
Spock : You must remember that I am a Vulcan, and I don't age at the same
pace as humans do. As for Mr. Scott and Dr. McCoy...
Scotty : The Jenolen crash-landed on a Dyson sphere and I put myself in a
diagnostic loop inside the transporter in order to survive until
a rescue party found us. And just guess _which_ ship finally found
me!
McCoy : And I just drank a secret beverage which turned me younger! [No,
it's nothing to do with Coke's secret recipe]
Uhura : And what about Captain Kirk?
McCoy : Oh, we were just going to rescue him from the very fauces of Death!
Now, I would say the crew is complete. We can board our ship and
depart.
Scotty : And that you were going to say about the ship, Doctor?
McCoy : Oh, forget it. There's no time for superstitions if we want to save
Jim.
Spock : I think I know the way to the ship. If you could follow me...
Uhura : Just let me say goodbye... [She waves her hand to the aliens]
McCoy : Captain, many thanks for leasing us your Runabout.
Sisko : Oh, don't worry, Admiral. You can leave it anywhere on the Quadrant
once you don't need it anymore. Goddbye, Admiral, and good luck!
[Spock heads to the 'Little Bighorn', followed by Bones, Scotty and Uhura]
Sisko : Well, let's continue with this First Contact...
Dax : Benjamin, look! They are retreating back into their ship!
[The aliens enter their ship. Bashir runs after them, holding his tricorder]
Bashir : Wait! I still haven't had enough detailed readings from you!
[The door is closed right in Bashir's face. Then, the Mother Ship separates
from the Station and disappears through the Wormhole quicker than you would
ever imagine]
Sisko : They are gone! It seems their only interest was to leave Commander
Uhura here before her friends departed...
Kira : A coincidence?
Sisko : Well, this is Sci-Fi... there must have been millions of improbable
coincidences, no wonder...
[They begin to walk back to the Command Center. Suddenly, Sisko remembers some-
thing...]
Sisko : Before I forget again... tell me, Constable, how could Riker escape
from your well-guarded cell?
Odo : What are you talking about? He hasn't escaped - he's been beating
Quark at chess. And he keeps saying he's COMMANDER Riker...
Sisko : What do you say, he hasn't...? So who was it that entered...? Oh,
damn it! We must call the Enterprise immediately! I guess there's
been a mistake!
- Act XV -
[Meanwhile, aboard the Enterprise-E]
Picard : I'll be in my ready room. The Bridge is yours, Number One. Number
One?
[Picard looks around, but cannot find Riker anywhere on the Bridge]
Data : Commander Riker left the Bridge some minutes ago, Captain. I guess
he was going to his quarters.
Picard : [clicking at his comm badge] Picard to Riker...
[He gets no response]
Picard : Picard to Riker. Will, do you get me?
[Still no response]
Picard : Computer, where is Commander Riker?
Computer : Commander Riker is not aboard the Enterprise.
Picard : What?
Worf : Sir, there is a message from DS9.
Picard : On screen!
[Sisko's face appears on the viewscreen]
Picard : What do you want? We are busy looking for Commander Riker!
Sisko : Er... don't look for him any more... he's here.
Picard : On DS9? How can that be possible?
Sisko : Oh, he - he's still in the detention cell. It seems you took THOMAS
Riker with you.
Picard : THOMAS Riker?! We must find him immediately!
Data : Captain, there is one shuttlecraft missing from Shuttle Bay 1.
Picard : Mr. Worf, do a long range scan.
Worf : Sensors pick the shuttlecraft 400 million kilometers away from our
current position, traveling at warp 5 towards the region known as
The Badlands.
Picard : Mr. Data, how long would it take us to get into transporter range
of the shuttlecraft?
Data : At Warp 8, 27 minutes 25,58 seconds, Sir.
Picard : Set intercept course towards the Badlands, Mr. Data.
Sisko : You can't do that, Picard! Your ship is too big for maneuvering in
the Badlands...!
Picard : Listen, this is _my_ ship and I can do anything I want with it -
and no newly-promoted Captain is going to tell me what I should and
shouldn't do with it! Picard out! [To Worf] Off screen!
[The viewscreen is turned off]
Data : Sir, I think we should consider...
Picard : Negative, Mr. Data. Set course to the Badlands, Warp 8.
Data : Yes, Sir. [He obeys the order]
[...and now once again we see a Starfleet ship heading towards the Badlands in
order to find a ship with Maqui crew which entered there previously.]
[Meanwhile, at DS9. Odo enters his office. Some moments later, Sisko comes in]
Odo : Well, I guess now I should free the prisoner, huh?
Sisko : Everything signals him as Commander Riker. So we must admit there
was a mistake.
[They head to the cell. As Riker sees them, he leaves the chess game. Quark
takes advantage of this and moves his rook]
Riker : I say there is a mistake! I'm Commander William T. Riker!
Sisko : Now we know, Commander. The Enterprise is now chasing your 'other'
Thomas into the Badlands. You are free. I must ask you to excuse
us for the mistake, but you must understand...
[Odo disconnects the forcefield]
Odo : You can go too, Quark - but first return that rook to its place!
Quark : [Leaving] Damn it, I'll never again play chess for the rest of my
life!
Sisko : So, Commander Riker, now that the Enterprise has left you here for
a while, would you like to help us with our ratings?
Riker : Let me see... how much will I get per episode?
[Riker and Sisko leave, talking about percentages and other details]
[Last time, on STAR TREK 8: The Rescue of Kirk... refer to Act XII...]
[And now, the conclusion...]
Dax : Benjamin, the ship is repeatedly transmitting a series of pulses at
audio frequencies... 440 Hz... 495... 396... 198... 297... and then
again...
Sisko : Hmmm... a, b, g, G, d? Play it through the loudspeakers...
[As Dax connects the audio to the loudspeaker system, the first five notes of
the "CE3K" theme are heard...]
Sisko : Maybe that's the way they're hailing us... Let's see... Computer,
mimic the signals coming from that ship!
[As the station's computer mimics the Mother Ship's tune, the whole theme from
"Close Encounters of the Third Kind" is played, and then the Mother Ship nears
the DS9 and docks with it. The whole crew has been watching in astonishment]
Sisko : Major, come with me. Dax, call Odo and Dr. Bashir and tell them to
meet me at the docking area. And send a message to Starfleet
Command telling them we have a case of first contact.
[Inside the detention cell, Riker is playing chess with Quark. An aged Colonist
watches the game from beyond]
Riker : [moving his queen] Checkmate!
Quark : That's not fair! I cannot concentrate with this man looking over my
shoulder! He makes me nervous!
Colonist : You don't want me looking over your shoulder, eh? Well, then how
about a nice little friendly poker game among the three? [He takes
a deck of cards out from his pocket, while Riker clears the chess-
board from the table. He shuffles the deck and gives it to Riker]
Here, cut.
[Riker cuts the deck and gives it back to the Colonist, who starts to deal]
Colonist : So, we'll play seven cards stud, one-eyed wild...
Quark : And... what are we going to bet?
Colonist : Oh, this is just a friendly game. Do you have a starship?
[At this point, Odo enters followed by another Colonist about the same age as
the first one]
Odo : Well, you can take your friend if you can assure me you'll prevent
him from keeping on cheating on poker.
Colonist2 : You can take it for grant- Starbuck! When are you going to learn?
You have to stop robbing the beginners!
Starbuck : Oh, come on, Apollo, I was only having some fun... I was planning
to return everything I won...
Apollo : At your age, you should be ashamed! This is the last time I help
you get out of troubles.
[Riker and Quark look at each other, then at Starbuck, who has just collected
the deck and is staying up]
Starbuck : Sorry, gentlemen, it's time to leave! Maybe another time we can
resume the game...
[Odo disconnects the forcefield to let him out, then reconnects it. Apollo and
Starbuck leave the cell block]
Quark : Hey, what about me? When are you letting me out?
Odo : Well, although personally I'd keep you in there for an undefined
period of time, I'm forced to...
[Dax calls Odo]
Dax : Dax to Constable Odo. Captain Sisko wants you to meet him on the
docking area at once.
Odo : Understood. I'm on my way. [To Quark] Sorry, but duty is calling.
Don't go anywhere while I'm absent! [He leaves]
Riker : Wait! I've told you there is a mistake! I'm Commander Riker! I must
return to the Enterprise!
Quark : And now once again we only have the chessboard...
- Act XIV -
[Odo arrives at the docking area. Sisko, Kira and Bashir are already there]
Sisko : I want some security officers around the perimeter. Remember, we
want to look friendly. Nobody knows what could develop from this
First Contact... Doctor, have your tricorder handy...
Kira : Captain, look!
[The door begins to open. Light floods the area. A silhouette is seen coming
from the light source. Smaller silhouettes, in number of seven, approach from
behind. As the taller silhouette comes closer, it becomes clear that it is a
woman...]
Bashir : That can't be Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs!
[The woman comes nearer. She is a black woman wearing an old Starfleet uniform,
from the type used some 70 years ago]
Uhuru : Commander Nyota Uhuru, retired from Starfleet, reporting back to
duty.
Bashir : [Examining her with the tricorder] This is incredible! You're the
healthiest person I've ever seen!
Sisko : I'm Captain Benjamin Sisko, in charge of this Station. Tell me,
Commander, when did you retire?
Uhuru : Just two months ago, on Stardate 9546.8.
[The tiny aliens approach. Dr. Bashir tries to examine them with the tricorder]
Bashir : Most incredible! My tricorder doesn't register any kind of life
signals on them!
Sisko : [To Uhuru] And you've been with those aliens ever since that date?
Uhuru : Yes, it seems they were bored and wanted someone who would dance
for them.
Sisko : Sisko to Dax. Please come here and bring the Admiral and his
companions with you. [To Uhura] Well, Commander, there have been
some changes in the time you haven't been. But I think I'm not the
adequate person to tell you...
[Dax arrivcs, followed by Bones, Spock and Scotty. As they see Uhura, they stop
in astonishment]
Scotty : Uhura!
Uhura : Scotty, darling! Doctor! Mr. Spock!
Scotty : Where did you go 78 years ago? I was waiting the whole day for you
and finally had to board the Jenolen alone!
Uhura : What are you talking about? The Jenolen was supposed to depart no
sooner than tomorrow!
Spock : Commander, let me explain you. The current Stardate is 49016.3, or
in Terran dates, January 6, 2372.
Uhura : Are you telling me that I've spent nearly 80 years aboard that ship
dancing for those LGM's? 80 years of my life?
Spock : Actually, it has been only two months of _your_ life but some 78
years for the rest of us. That ship should have been using some
kind of Einsteinian, relativistic, non-warp drive.
Uhura : But... all of you... you don't look as if you were so much older...
Spock : You must remember that I am a Vulcan, and I don't age at the same
pace as humans do. As for Mr. Scott and Dr. McCoy...
Scotty : The Jenolen crash-landed on a Dyson sphere and I put myself in a
diagnostic loop inside the transporter in order to survive until
a rescue party found us. And just guess _which_ ship finally found
me!
McCoy : And I just drank a secret beverage which turned me younger! [No,
it's nothing to do with Coke's secret recipe]
Uhura : And what about Captain Kirk?
McCoy : Oh, we were just going to rescue him from the very fauces of Death!
Now, I would say the crew is complete. We can board our ship and
depart.
Scotty : And that you were going to say about the ship, Doctor?
McCoy : Oh, forget it. There's no time for superstitions if we want to save
Jim.
Spock : I think I know the way to the ship. If you could follow me...
Uhura : Just let me say goodbye... [She waves her hand to the aliens]
McCoy : Captain, many thanks for leasing us your Runabout.
Sisko : Oh, don't worry, Admiral. You can leave it anywhere on the Quadrant
once you don't need it anymore. Goddbye, Admiral, and good luck!
[Spock heads to the 'Little Bighorn', followed by Bones, Scotty and Uhura]
Sisko : Well, let's continue with this First Contact...
Dax : Benjamin, look! They are retreating back into their ship!
[The aliens enter their ship. Bashir runs after them, holding his tricorder]
Bashir : Wait! I still haven't had enough detailed readings from you!
[The door is closed right in Bashir's face. Then, the Mother Ship separates
from the Station and disappears through the Wormhole quicker than you would
ever imagine]
Sisko : They are gone! It seems their only interest was to leave Commander
Uhura here before her friends departed...
Kira : A coincidence?
Sisko : Well, this is Sci-Fi... there must have been millions of improbable
coincidences, no wonder...
[They begin to walk back to the Command Center. Suddenly, Sisko remembers some-
thing...]
Sisko : Before I forget again... tell me, Constable, how could Riker escape
from your well-guarded cell?
Odo : What are you talking about? He hasn't escaped - he's been beating
Quark at chess. And he keeps saying he's COMMANDER Riker...
Sisko : What do you say, he hasn't...? So who was it that entered...? Oh,
damn it! We must call the Enterprise immediately! I guess there's
been a mistake!
- Act XV -
[Meanwhile, aboard the Enterprise-E]
Picard : I'll be in my ready room. The Bridge is yours, Number One. Number
One?
[Picard looks around, but cannot find Riker anywhere on the Bridge]
Data : Commander Riker left the Bridge some minutes ago, Captain. I guess
he was going to his quarters.
Picard : [clicking at his comm badge] Picard to Riker...
[He gets no response]
Picard : Picard to Riker. Will, do you get me?
[Still no response]
Picard : Computer, where is Commander Riker?
Computer : Commander Riker is not aboard the Enterprise.
Picard : What?
Worf : Sir, there is a message from DS9.
Picard : On screen!
[Sisko's face appears on the viewscreen]
Picard : What do you want? We are busy looking for Commander Riker!
Sisko : Er... don't look for him any more... he's here.
Picard : On DS9? How can that be possible?
Sisko : Oh, he - he's still in the detention cell. It seems you took THOMAS
Riker with you.
Picard : THOMAS Riker?! We must find him immediately!
Data : Captain, there is one shuttlecraft missing from Shuttle Bay 1.
Picard : Mr. Worf, do a long range scan.
Worf : Sensors pick the shuttlecraft 400 million kilometers away from our
current position, traveling at warp 5 towards the region known as
The Badlands.
Picard : Mr. Data, how long would it take us to get into transporter range
of the shuttlecraft?
Data : At Warp 8, 27 minutes 25,58 seconds, Sir.
Picard : Set intercept course towards the Badlands, Mr. Data.
Sisko : You can't do that, Picard! Your ship is too big for maneuvering in
the Badlands...!
Picard : Listen, this is _my_ ship and I can do anything I want with it -
and no newly-promoted Captain is going to tell me what I should and
shouldn't do with it! Picard out! [To Worf] Off screen!
[The viewscreen is turned off]
Data : Sir, I think we should consider...
Picard : Negative, Mr. Data. Set course to the Badlands, Warp 8.
Data : Yes, Sir. [He obeys the order]
[...and now once again we see a Starfleet ship heading towards the Badlands in
order to find a ship with Maqui crew which entered there previously.]
[Meanwhile, at DS9. Odo enters his office. Some moments later, Sisko comes in]
Odo : Well, I guess now I should free the prisoner, huh?
Sisko : Everything signals him as Commander Riker. So we must admit there
was a mistake.
[They head to the cell. As Riker sees them, he leaves the chess game. Quark
takes advantage of this and moves his rook]
Riker : I say there is a mistake! I'm Commander William T. Riker!
Sisko : Now we know, Commander. The Enterprise is now chasing your 'other'
Thomas into the Badlands. You are free. I must ask you to excuse
us for the mistake, but you must understand...
[Odo disconnects the forcefield]
Odo : You can go too, Quark - but first return that rook to its place!
Quark : [Leaving] Damn it, I'll never again play chess for the rest of my
life!
Sisko : So, Commander Riker, now that the Enterprise has left you here for
a while, would you like to help us with our ratings?
Riker : Let me see... how much will I get per episode?
[Riker and Sisko leave, talking about percentages and other details]
So, now we have Uhura (playing Ebony Black and the Seven Vertically Challenged Aliens with Spielberg's aliens from CE3K) joining our cast too! Who said it couldn't be done? Also, see how her last name changes from "Uhuru" to "Uhura"... the actual Swahili word for "freedom" is "Uhuru", but Roddenberry and company made her "Uhura" back then instead. And we've finally gotten rid of Picard and his crew (yes, I'm a TOS fan way over TNG, so, sue me), never to be seen again. We also got a cameo from Battlestar Galactica's Apollo and Starbuck (whom I described as "Colonists" rather than "Colonials", due to having watched the show dubbed into Spanish, where they are called "colonos"; that was the other mistake I've decided to leave uncorrected. And yes, I'm a BSG fan, too. To this day, I still wear my beltbuckle which I first bought in 1981 at a local department store and have been transfering from one belt to another along all these years:
(that is a scan from back then in the late 1990s, today it has accumulated a few scratches over time).
Another thing I should have done was have Starbuck trying to get Riker and Quark interested in a game of Pyramid, rather than poker.... but hey, I don't think either Quark or Riker would have been familiar with the rules, anyway. And now with Worf take out of DS9, they get Riker as a replacement to boost the rating. Seems like a fair trade...
What new adventures await our valiant crew? Find out on Part 6!
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